“The neighbor’s kid decided to decorate my car with a rock to make it look ’cute.’”
“AirPods went missing…turns out my kid buried them in the backyard.”
“My children are animals.”
“Apparently this is how a 5-year-old opens a new loaf of bread.”
“Identically unperturbed by what they did to themselves with the clippers at 5 a.m.”
“Found this in the game room, compliments of my 5-year-old.”
“Silence is golden. But when you have kids, silence is suspicious.”
